France (and more specifically, Paris) is considered by many to be the romantic capital of the world, so it makes sense to assume Valentine’s Day in this country would be a special occasion. However, those of us who have lived here for any length of time know better.
If you’re planning to celebrate Valentine’s Day in France this year, your experience will largely depend on whom you’re celebrating with. If it’s a Frenchie, best to keep expectations low by American standards, or, better yet, to set them early.
For example, this year I told Thibault that I would greatly appreciate fresh flowers for Valentine’s Day, even though it’s cliché. Now, he knows exactly what will make me happy on le jour de Saint Valentin, and I’ll feel both appreciated and heard, which are key ingredients to a healthy and happy international relationship on any given day of the year.
How is Valentine’s Day celebrated in France?
Answering this question requires zooming out a little bit and observing how the French approach mainstream or “basic” concepts. Generally, they are not fans, and the commercialization of Valentine’s Day makes most wrinkle their noses. Some even refrain from participating out of contempt for the absurdity of it all.
That’s not to say that French vendors don’t try to tempt or guilt their compatriots into celebrating. Flower shops, jewelry stores, and other businesses with a financial interest in celebrating Valentine’s Day participate enthusiastically in promoting the holiday. Paris, in particular, reaps the lion’s share of Valentine’s Day enthusiasts due to romantically iconic landmarks such as the Eiffel Tower, the Seine, and the Tuileries Gardens.
Is Valentine’s Day important in France?
No, as a general rule, I would not say that Valentine’s Day is considered important in France. But then again, this is a country where anniversaries are rarely marked by a specific day unless a non-French person dates a French person and insists on setting a date.
That said, just because Valentine’s Day isn’t super important in France, that doesn’t mean it can’t be important to you!
Valentine’s Day in France vs America
Valentine’s Day in France passes much more calmly than in the US. While certain businesses try to get some hype going, the public remains generally unmoved.
Because participation in Valentine’s Day in France is not automatically assumed the way it is in the US, opting in becomes a decision that a couple has to take together; if you are an American dating a French person then there is a 50/50 chance that the holiday will come and go with no comment unless the American makes it clear that they expect to celebrate.
In the US, Americans tend to treat Valentine’s Day as a sort of litmus test for various aspects of the relationship – how well it’s going, if it has a future, and whether or not love languages are compatible are all in mind when February 14th approaches.
As such, there’s a sort of pressure applied to the date that often goes largely unaddressed, manifesting only as intense hope and expectation that a partner ascertain what would be the best and most appropriate expression of love for their particular partner, at that particular time.
It is, quite frankly, exhausting for both parties, and I’ve come to welcome the simplicity that comes from being in France for Valentine’s Day. As I mentioned, this year, I said I wanted flowers. Last year, I said I wanted to go out to lunch. The year before that, we stayed in and made homemade sushi.
Thinking about it now, I realize that I actually remember vividly how each Valentine’s Day with Thibault has gone because how we celebrated involved conscious thought and communication on my end.
I’m not saying that the way one country celebrates is better than the other
However, you would be correct in assuming that I highly prefer the French approach, now that I’ve gotten used to it. The key is to be honest with yourself, communicate what you want to your partner, and explain why it matters to you.
The French don’t tend to accept general statements as convincing rationale, so doing some introspection before a conversation helps be able to articulate why celebrating Valentine’s Day in a certain way is important.
How to Celebrate Valentine’s Day in Paris (5 Unique Ideas!)
Step 1. Do not celebrate Valentine’s Day in Paris.
I’m kidding. Sort of. But honestly, who wants to be in Paris in mid-February? The only place worse to be in mid-February than Paris might be Strasbourg. And don’t tell me I didn’t warn you. If you drag your Frenchie to Paris for Valentine’s Day for no other reason than “because it’s Valentine’s Day,” you will likely hear a complaint.
But – okay. If you’re determined to celebrate love in the City of Lights, here are a few suggestions that won’t cause a French person to roll their eyes so hard they get stuck in the back of their head.
1. Visit an interactive art exhibition
The creative scene in Paris is second to none. Opportunities to experience artists abound even in the depths of winter. It’s also worth mentioning that since the tourist tide will be low at this time of year, there will likely be a greater number of free or affordable options.
Pro tip: search “expositions art a paris YEAR” for the most current art exhibitions. You can also visit Paris tourism sites directly, including Come to Paris and Sortir à Paris.
2. Book a romantic, multi-course dinner for two on The Fork
The Fork, formerly known as La Fourchette, is a booking application for restaurants. They run excellent deals all the time, particularly on holidays when the competition for patrons is fierce.
3. Take a stroll along La Petite Ceinture
The Petite Ceinture is a relatively unknown (by tourist standards) collection of walks created from an old rail line that the city used until 1993.
Since then, some parts have been sealed off from the public for safety reasons, but many one-way walks are available throughout the city. Check out this map to see where the closest walk is to you, then grab your partner by the hand and see where the walk takes you – both literally and conversationally. (In my experience, some of the best chats come from going on walks in new locations. I wonder what that is?)
4. Explore quartier Belleville
Historically fringe, in more recent years Belleville has become known as the place to go to see a new and different side of Paris. The quartier (neighborhood) is dynamic, with a large Chinese community, and excellent and varied dining options. Additionally, the Parc de Belleville offers incredible views including the Eiffel Tower and surrounding Haussmann rooftops.
5. Discover Saint Chapelle
There are a lot of nice religious sites and structures to visit in Paris. In fact, it can be easy to just go and see something because it’s a big old building that looks nice. But, I would highly recommend seeing this stunning chapel. Built between 1242 and 1248, the upper chapel continues 15 stunning floor-to-ceiling stained glass windows.
Psst: Looking for something memorable to do in Paris? Connect with my good friend and professional tour guide, Laura Moore, for a fully customizable Paris tour guide experience!
One final note
Honestly, a lot of this has been tongue-in-cheek. I genuinely believe you should just celebrate Valentine’s Day how you want.
That said, celebrating now several years’s worth of Valentine’s Day with my French partner has instilled a deeper appreciation for quality time together. During this time, I’ve also reflected on why (at one point) physical gifts and what I now think of as more “American” expressions of love were important to me.
In my experience, American culture differs greatly from French culture when it comes to how affection is expressed in relationships. Yet, in coming to understand how the French tend to express affection, I’ve come to appreciate their way of doing so.
Quality time is king, and a day is not automatically special simply because there’s social pressure to make it special. By thinking about what it would take for a day to feel special to me and my relationship, I’m better able to collaborate and make a plan with my partner for how we celebrate our relationship.
