Meet Elisabeth and Léo
Words by Elisabeth or “Teacher Beth,” co-founder of Inglês Na Hora
Name: Elisabeth “Beth”
Pronoun(s): she/her
Nationality: American
Hometown: Seattle, Washington (USA)
Current location: Florianópolis
Occupation: Co-founder and English teacher for Inglês Na Hora
Name: Léo
Pronoun(s): he/him
Nationality: Brazilian
Hometown: Florianópolis, Santa Catarina (Brazil)
Current location: Florianópolis
Occupation: Co-founder and graphic designer for Inglês Na Hora
My name is Elisabeth, but here in Brazil I go by “Beth.” I´m from a small town near Seattle, Washington and am currently living in Brazil.
Before moving here, I had done quite a bit of traveling – I spent a total of about four years abroad, working at an orphanage in Honduras, as an au pair in Italy and Australia, and several solo backpacking trips around Asia, Latin America, and Egypt!
My partner is Leonardo, or “Léo.” He is from the most beautiful place in the world – an island off the southeastern coast of Brazil called Florianópolis. It´s where we live together now! He is a graphic designer and is also passionate about music. He´s an incredible guitar player.
We have been together for a little over two years total and got married in February 2020. We work together full-time, running our business called “Inglês Na Hora” – offering online English classes for advanced students.
How It All Began
Where/how did you meet? How did you both end up in that particular physical/virtual location at the same time?
Léo and I met online, but not through a traditional dating app. I was still stateside at the time, but had plans to go to Brazil and teach English there for a year or so after finishing my Bachelor´s degree.
At the time, I didn´t speak any Portuguese, so I hopped on an online language exchange app to find some native speakers to start learning with
Léo had been studying English on his own for about a year and was looking for a conversation partner. He sent me a message asking me to be conversation partners, and I accepted! At first, our communication was pretty limited – just random messages with language questions every once in awhile.
Eventually we started video-calling to practice English and Portuguese – but we quickly discovered that we had a lot in common and the video-calls started to become a daily thing
We were “friends” and totally had crushes on each other, but we were nervous to really start a romantic relationship before ever meeting in person. Fast forward through eight months of online-only communication, and I came to Brazil for the first time for a 3-week visit. We hit it off right away and when I returned just a few months later, this time to settle down, we made our relationship official.
Where was your first date? How did it go?
For our first date, Léo took me to try açaí for the first time. The açaí was AMAZING, but I thought Léo was super weird. He was way more affectionate than I was used to and he tried to kiss me right away! In general, I feel like Brazil has a more affectionate culture than the US does, so that took some getting used to, but anyway, I accepted a 2nd date and from there things flowed smoothly.
How was the communication in general? Do you both have the same first language?
In the beginning, we really depended on English for communication, since I didn´t know any Portuguese at the time. Once I moved to Brazil though, my Portuguese started improving quickly, and now we use both languages pretty equally. We´ve had lots of misunderstandings due to language differences – especially connotations of certain words. For example, saying something like “You look miserable” in English can be a way of showing sympathy or concern for someone – but the Portuguese equivalent if translated directly, “ Você parece miserável,” is like an insult. So together we´ve discovered a lot of these little differences.
What was a cute cultural quirk that you noticed right away about your partner/they noticed about you?
Léo says that one of the first things he noticed about me was how “bouncy” I was when I talked (moving around a lot and making lots of gestures)
Apparently, that was something he identified with American culture from movies, but I never in a million years would have thought that to be a notable part of being from the States (haha but now I do TOTALLY notice it when I see other Americans here in Brazil.) I thought it was cute how he always called workers in public places (waiters, cashiers, etc.) “big friend” (amigão); in general I feel like he just gives off a super friendly vibe that I love!
The Dating Game
Under what kinds of circumstances did you start dating?
We first started dating once I moved here to Brazil. I had originally planned on coming here to teach English for a year, but I ended up applying and getting accepted to a master´s program at a university here. So, the plan was for me to stay for at least two years.
It was pretty stressful going through the process of getting my residency and starting school while adapting to a new culture, and I had expected a new relationship to just make things even more difficult, but actually it was just the opposite
Léo was so supportive, especially in those first few months when I was adjusting to everything, and that actually gave me a lot of confidence that our relationship was really going to last.
What, in your experience, are the biggest dating cultural differences between the United States and Brazil?
I feel like the amount of time that couples spend together when they´re just in the dating stage is a lot different. For me, I expected to see my boyfriend one or two times a week, and it would be something that we scheduled for certain days. Here in Brazil though, weekends are like dedicated to being with your partner (if you´re in a relationship). It’s kind of just an automatic thing – you don´t need to plan it.
So the weekend would come, and I would have made plans with the girls or thought about going out to explore on my own, and Léo was expecting that we would spend the weekend together even though we hadn´t talked about it
That was really frustrating on both sides in the beginning.
Another thing that was really different for me was being introduced to Léo´s family so early on in the relationship. He had me meet his parents, siblings, and most of his extended family before we were even officially dating. That was really weird for me, because, I feel like in the States the norm is to introduce your romantic partner to your parents after you´ve been together for awhile and are getting serious. I love Léo´s family though – they really took me in and treated me like family right away.
How did it go meeting each other’s families that first time?
Like I mentioned, I met Léo´s family before we were even in an official relationship. They were all super friendly, but our communication was pretty limited. I had a pretty solid grasp on basic vocabulary and could string together basic sentences, but his family speaks really fast and I would just get lost and start nodding and smiling. We would spend most Sundays together though; Sunday lunch with the family is like a big thing here in Brazil.
So I was spending a lot of time with them, and then just from living here in Brazil my Portuguese was improving, and then communication got a lot easier. Omg about the food – my mother-in-law´s rice and beans is literally the best food on the planet! Hands down.
As for Léo meeting my parents – they came to Brazil to visit after I had been living here for about eight months. They loved Léo right away – my dad and Léo get along super well. They stayed here for a couple of weeks, and we got to take them around the island and visited São Paulo together. Unfortunately with Covid and everything, we haven´t had more time to spend with them in person, but the four of us have a group chat and we keep in touch through that and videocalls.
Going All In
Has Covid-19 affected you and your partner’s plans for the relationship? How so?
We got married here in Brazil in February 2020. The plan was for us to do the legal marriage in February, and then have the actual wedding celebration in March 2020 (my family had plans to come to Brazil for the wedding).
Unfortunately, Covid hit Brazil right around that time, and we had to call off the wedding completely. That has been really difficult, not having a real “wedding,” but it´s also made us reflect on what is really important and how much we love each other
If you’re a partner who moved for the relationship, how did you go about making friends? How would you advise others in similar situations to go about making new friends?
Léo really helped me with this part of adjusting here. He had a big group of awesome friends that he introduced me to even before moving here.
He added me to a group chat with all of them and we would talk and practice English/Portuguese
So that was nice, because by the time I moved here, I already had a big group of people that I kind of knew and who were all super welcoming. Once I got started in the master´s program, I started making more friends on my own there, too. Brazilians are so ridiculously welcoming and friendly!
How do you navigate the holiday season and family events?
This one has been a struggle for the two of us. We grew up with really different ideas about holidays and celebrations, etc. For me, Christmas Eve and Christmas is a huge deal. I grew up with a lot of family traditions for that holiday, but Léo really didn´t. So the first couple of Christmases that we spent together were frustrating. Léo would feel overwhelmed and pressured by my expectations of what Christmas should be like, and I felt disappointed that he didn´t think it was so important. We´ve gradually come to find a balance and create our ways of celebrating that are simple, but special.
Closing Question
Most everyone, I think, associates international love stories with romance and rose bubbles. For those of us in them though, we know that they’re just like any other and require daily work, commitment, and more than a little determination. These last few questions are to give folks interested in really peeking under the hood of a strong international partnership a glimpse of the true nuts and bolts.
I think most people would say that communication is the most important thing for any successful relationship, but especially an international one. What, in your opinion, is the SECOND most important thing to have in a strong international relationship? What advice would you give to a fledgling international couple who wants to really give it a shot?
Grace. You´re going to hurt each other, to disappoint each other, say the wrong thing. But we´ve learned (and keep learning) that you just have to be willing to forgive. Sometimes it´s about having grace for yourself too, when you´re the one who´s messed up.
That unconditional love is such a good feeling though – knowing that someone´s there for you even when you´re a mess
Editor’s note: This interview has been lightly edited for concision and clarity.
***
Thank you for reading our special bonus edition of our February series – Fearless in Love No. 5 – Elisabeth and Léo!
If you connected with Elisabeth and Léo’s story, she invites you to connect via social media.
Instagram: @inglesnahora
Facebook: inglesnahora.br
YouTube: Inglês Na Hora
A new edition of 52 Weeks of Fearless: A Friday Feature Series are posted every Friday evening, France time (CET). If you enjoy reading and want to keep up-to-date with the latest posts, please subscribe and follow @themillennialabroad to support and be the first to receive weekly blog posts and a monthly newsletter recapping the month’s posts and latest in Strasbourg and travel news.
Previous Special Editions of Fearless in Love
For the full archive of 52 Weeks of Fearless, click here: 52 Weeks of Fearless: A Friday Feature Series – The Millennial Abroad
