Fearless in Love No. 3 – Attaliah & Robin

Meet Attaliah & Robin

Words by Attaliah

How It All Began

Where/how did you meet? How did you both end up in that particular physical/virtual location at the same time?

We met in Thailand in 2016 while staying at the same resort in Koh Phagan. I (Attaliah) missed a flight and when we arrived at the resort, Robin and his friend were sitting outside. My friend and I couldn’t lock our door and he helped us. My friend and I went to explore. The following day Robin was supposed to leave the island and my friend and I were going to head to an all day excursion. Then the rain happened. I was out on the patio after fixing our plans & Robin came to say hello. We went bar hopping with my friend and it stopped raining.

We headed back and exchanged numbers and never stopped talking

Where was your first date?

Our first date lasted two weeks in Dallas. We went to Austin and to the South by Southwest Music festival, and he met my family.

How was the communication? Did you both have the same first language?

Robin spoke English, but not a lot. I finished his sentences for about a year. Now he teaches me slang ahaha. My first language is Shona & Ndbele and Robin’s first language is German. We both learned English early on.

The Dating Game

Under what kinds of circumstances did you start dating?

We met because of a missed flight and rain. We were both traveling.

Was it clear from the onset that you were dating, or was there ever uncertainty as to the status of the relationship?

When we got home from the trip it was a Thursday. I was in the US & he was in Germany. We skyped on a Friday and made our relationship guidelines and talked about what we each wanted from the relationship.

What was culturally different about dating your partner that you enjoyed?

I feel like Robin was blunt and direct. It wasn’t one of those things where I had to guess where things were going or if our relationship was serious.

I remember talking to him and saying: “You haven’t asked me out so I don’t know if I’m your girlfriend.”

He said: “Why would I waste all of my time?”

Did you ever do long distance with your partner? For how long, and what was it like?

We did long distance on and off. The first two years were long distance then we were together then we did another five months when we transitioned to moving to Germany.

When did you start to talk seriously about a future together? Or, was it always serious?

Two weeks after we met.

Going All In

What did “going all in” look like for you and your partner? Did you initially agree on what this looked like?

Yes, we promised we would see each other every other month when dating

Five months later, we got engaged and then got married a couple of months later. After that we decided to move to California because of my job.

If one of you moved for the other: Does the partner that moved ever get homesick? How do you support one another in times of cultural fatigue?

We did this both ways. He lived in California and didnt like it much, so now we are in Germany. Being in lockdown is tough. Hoping that everything opens up and we can explore and see more of the world.

If one of you moved for the other: Were you able to continue your profession/professional track in your new country? How did you have to adapt?

I started social media management because of our move. Prior to the pandemic, I was going to work in two countries, but due to COVID I resigned from my nursing position. I know social media account management. On my page I help other entrepreneurs with tips on how to be seen on social media platforms.

If you got formally married, what was the wedding like? Did you incorporate elements of both cultures into the event?

We were married in the courthouse in Sacramento then we had a wedding in Dominican Republic the following year.

What is an aspect of being in an international relationship that sounds romantic or sexy, but is actually really challenging to navigate?

Long distance and scheduling time zones.

What is something that you struggled with at the beginning of your international relationship that you had to overcome as a couple?

The doubtful people. It was weird to meet someone randomly then explain to everyone that he was my soulmate.

One Last Question

Most everyone, I think, associates international love stories with romance and rose bubbles. For those of us in them though, we know that they’re just like any other and require daily work, commitment, and more than a little determination. These last few questions are to give folks interested in really peeking under the hood of a strong international partnership a glimpse of the true nuts and bolts.

I think most people would say that communication is the most important thing for any successful relationship, but especially an international one. What, in your opinion, is the SECOND most important thing to have in a strong international relationship? What advice would you give to a fledgling international couple who wants to really give it a shot?

Adaptability. There are so many changes that go on with having an international relationship and change is inevitable. Making sure that you know plans can change quickly is essential. If you are going to go for it – GO ALL IN. Schedule time to see other, have a pact or agreement and be willing to bend a little.

Editor’s note: This interview has been lightly edited for concision and clarity.

***

Thank you for reading the third special edition of Fearless in Love – International Love Story No. 3 – Attaliah & Robin!

If you connected with their story, Attaliah invites you to connect with her via her website and Instagram.

Instagram: @attaliahstrubel

Website: attaliahstrubel.com

A new edition of 52 Weeks of Fearless: A Friday Feature Series are posted every Friday evening, France time (CET). If you enjoy reading and want to keep up-to-date with the latest posts, please subscribe and follow @themillennialabroad to support and be the first to receive weekly blog posts and a monthly newsletter recapping the month’s posts and latest in Strasbourg and travel news. Plus, keep an eye out for a bonus Fearless in Love feature – even after February ends!

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